Respect

I am reading Proverbs. Today's passage has some awesome insights and I tend to apply these to life as the mother of teens. Graeme Goldsworthy's commentary is very helpful too. For lack of time, I am just going to copy what he says about two lovely sayings.

Proverbs 11:12 "A man who lacks judgement derides his neighbour but a man of understanding holds his tongue"

Commentary: (See also verse 9) Gossip and derision will harm others but do not benefit the gossiper. This proverb is one of many dealing with the advantages of knowing when to keep silent.

Me: So relevant to parenting. Don't fight with your teens. A woman of understanding knows when to stay silent. (eg when they are angry or when you are angry)

Proverbs 11:16-17  "A kindhearted woman gains respect but ruthless men gain only wealth. A kind man benefits himself but a cruel man brings trouble on himself"

Commentary "In their lust for possessions fools scorn that which is of far greater value: relationships built on respect. There is legitimate self-interest expressed in the command to love your neighbour as yourself. What is best for others is best for us"

Me: Its not hard to see how these three verses complement each other. Poor use of the tongue is cruel and doesn't benefit us or the hearer. Don't fight with your teens. (Can you see a theme happening here?) If they seem disrespectful, getting angry and telling them off is not going to make that any better. Be respectable - calm down, demonstrate kindheartedness and self control. It will go better for you and for them.

More about teens later. This is quickly written. Love to have a conversation, though. Please add your thoughts.